I am lucky.
I flew to San Francisco on the first leg of the Year of Friends. There were few expectations. Just some plans. A small notion of what I’d hoped to find. It’s hard to track people down in their lives. People have a habit of getting lost.
Or so I thought.
It’s been my experience that the people I have tried hardest to keep in my life have slipped away. Which I’m coming to realize is because I’ve spent too much time trying to keep the wrong people near.
Meanwhile those who had the most reason to slip away, I’ve found, have just been waiting on me.
It’s an interesting life lesson for a 37-year old.
This weekend, maybe for the first time in my life, I discovered my friends. Just took time to enjoy them, in their environment, doing their lives. I went to them because I wanted to be with them.
It’s hard to explain this difference in my life, but you’ll simply have to trust me when I tell you that the revelation is seismic. (Sometimes quickly, they say, sometimes slowly.)
This weekend, I watched my friend Jessie and our former J-school compadre Sarah assembling the rough-cut trailer for their next project. I don’t want to ruin it, but it’s amazing:
In one of the moments of down time, Rob took me for a spin in their amazing toy: a Tesla, one of the world’s coolest electric sports cars.
Despite the cool dude gadgetry, my favorite part has been playing with the Three Wee Beasties I’m living with right now (and dreading leaving behind tomorrow). If you think the look on my face is strange, rest assured it’s because I’m reading the most horrific Dr. Seuss book ever.
I haven’t had much time with Luc, the third of the Wee Beasties, because frankly he does his own thing. He wanders over to me, climbs on my lap and then moves along. He’s an explorer. And I’m pretty easy to explore quickly.
I even had the chance to catch up with an old Cincinnati Citybeat pal, Mimi, who moved to the Bay Area about a decade ago. Just before I pulled up stakes and wandered back east. We had coffee (and she joined our dinner later on that evening).
Jessie and Rob had a potluck evening for Erica, Anne and myself. Erica now works for the SF District Attorney, but she’ll always be the girl who wanted to leave me in Cincinnati but instead ended up driving across the U.S. sitting near on my lap.
Jessie and Anne got over their initial dislike for me and have taken on the mantle of Big Sisters (with no disrespect to my actual big sister Cheri). I think Older Sisters, but they assure me that it’s simply Big Sisters. I am not sure how that is better.
Saturday rolled around far too quickly. We never have enough time to catch up. Time is like that. However, I did have the chance to drive the Bay Bridge, a commute I made every weekday for 5 years (including the day my car died and I stopped traffic).
Then I had the chance to swing down to Millbrae to visit with Whitney, one of my old friends from the PHO listserv, one of the more influential information sources for digital music. His wonderful wife made us amazing bagels and then Whitney and I played with the kiddies.
Then it was back to Berkeley to meet Cori, a Twitter friend, and Willo, who would force me to attempt to break my 2010 no-dating rule would I live back in the Bay Area. Smart, amazing women I’ve had the pleasure to get to know through Twitter, South by Southwest and cyberspace.
Not included in the adventures: dinner and ice cream with my friend Katie, one of the few people who survived from the insane drinking days here in Berkeley. Like me, her life has calmed down. She has an amazing apartment and a loving boyfriend (who I actually didn’t get to meet).
We hadn’t seen each other in eight years, but we’ve kept up with each other. One of those strange friendships that grew slowly into something bigger than either of us thought. It’s not easy to explain. It’s not necessary to explain.
It is what it is. And sometimes a vague notion is enough.
