My mouth gets me in trouble. A lot.
I’ve come to accept this as part of my life. I embrace it. I have rolled it into my personality. I’ve taken a liability and turned it into an asset. It’s a story that’s been working for the last 2 years, 2 months and 15 days.
At least I think it’s working based upon some anecdotal evidence.
You see, this year I challenged my students. I laid down the gauntlet. In writing. In health. In life. I have challenged them to write 90 blogs in 90 days. I have challenged them (and tried to support them) as we all lost weight and attempted to transform our lives.
But the most significant thing I have done this year is dedicated 2010 to The Year of Friends. Specifically: to visit as many friends as I can. To spend time with them. To see them again. To laugh with them. To love them. To be inspired by them.
To remember that we’re here not for fame or glory. We’re not supposed to be trapped by the expectations of others. We are here for the people in our lives who make time for us. Who make us better people. Who lift us up when we don’t have the strength to do that ourselves. Who sit and laugh with us for no good reason.
Other than getting sober 2 years, 2 months and 15 days ago, The Year of Friends has changed my life more than I’ll ever be able to express to my students, my family, my friends. Because for the first time in my life I’ve been able to truly enjoy all of you:
My friends Jason and Andrea (Austin) had their first child this year. So of course I had to see Ozzy.
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Not that they had the only kid I needed to see. The Walkers (Bastrop, TX) were due a visit as well, where two of my favorite human beings on the planet live:
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But I’ve jumped ahead of myself. Technically speaking, I started The Year of Friends in December 2009. This would be a big deal if I cared. Which I do not.
I headed to St. Louis to see Avatar with my stunningly beautiful, completely nerdy and awesome friend The Steph:
This was on the way to see one of my oldest – and best – friends Andy, who lives in my house in Austin. When we met 14 years ago, I’d have not thought we’d end staying as close as we are. But I’m thankful for it every day.
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I had the chance to see one of my dearest friends, Jessie, in action as she raced to finish her documentary film (in Corsicana, TX) – which you will get the details on later. We met in graduate school and I’ve been lucky enough to see her get married, have three beautiful children and continue to amaze the world with her work.
Of course my favorite part of the year with Jessie happened just a few months before (San Francisco) when we – and several other Berkeley graduates – had dinner together. Jessie, Anne and I have stayed close for more than a decade as I’ve watched both of them prosper personally and professionally. They are my Big Sisters from grad school:
And I could never forget Erica, with whom I drove across the country in 1998 on our way to graduate school. The details are not important (I did end up drunk and naked in Iowa at a party, but that’s something we ALL wish we could forget), but we have formed an ever-lasting bond because of that.
But if I ever need a reminder how being sober and having my friends around has changed my life, I’ll never need to look further than this picture of two of Jessie’s Wee Beasties:
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I had the chance to catch up with a few friends in the Bay Area as well. My favorite South by Southwest gals, Willo and Cori:
Plus the eternally beautiful Mimi, whom I first met in 1994 when we both worked at Cincinnati CityBeat, the first writing gig I ever had.
There was even enough time to squeeze in a visit with my old PHO pal Whitney, a kick-ass lawyer from back in the Wired News days who used to help me unscramble the whole copyright-IP “thing” that you may have heard about (e.g. Napster).
These days, he’s chilling out with his wife and their amazingly smart and fantastic brood:
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I had the chance to see the REAL Batman one night in Austin with Logan, a recent graduate of Ball State University, and my pal Chris Valentine (in the picture). He’s the brains behind the South by Southwest Interactive Accelerator and one of my great new friends from the conference.
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I flew out to see Kris (Redlands, CA), an old family friend from back in the Loveland days. Our families have know each other for three decades. This year, Kris and I – along with her son B. and his friend – had Crazy Hat Day down in Los Angeles. Personally, I think the handsome is off the charts.
During this trip, I had the chance to meet up with Kelly and Beverly, two more graduate school buddies. Unfortunately the pictures didn’t turn out so great; however, the meal was wonderful, dwarfed only by the amazing conversation and laughter.
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Just a few weeks later (not that these are in any chronological order), I met my dad for a Father-Son baseball trip through the middle of the country. We stopped at the College World Series (Omaha, NE):
And then we made our way to the Field of Dreams (Dyersville, IA):
This is the trip I treasure most. I joke – outside of my parents’ earshot – that I hit the Parental Lottery. Our family, like your family, is dysfunctional and weird. We have hurts that won’t go away. Damage that sits on the surface of our relationships. But always there is love. I’ve never for one day wondered if my parents loved me. If they would be there for me.
They have been and will always be. And for that, I am thankful.
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But this year wasn’t just about ME visiting my friends. I even had some unexpected guests – John and Aimee – stop by Muncie.
And I won’t lie, one of the most touching moments of my entire teaching career happened when a handful of my former Northern Kentucky University students made the 2 1/2 hour drive from Covington, KY to Muncie, IN for a day.
My MINjas will always be near and dear to my heart, which I can say now that I am no longer teaching them. They are slowly graduating (or getting close), moving into the real world and starting life. What I am proudest of, though, is they are doing that as friends. I love that they have all stayed in touch and stayed together.
I’d like to think I had a small part of that (with all the yelling and screaming), but in truth I don’t care. I’m pretty proud of them as humans (even when they screw up).
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I almost feel bad including my South by Southwest experience with my friends, but the reality is I just simply can’t get everywhere. So I tried to carve out as much time as humanly possible to chill out with some of my friends from the good old days.
Evan (left) and Eric (right) are writers from back in San Francisco. Evan, with whom I worked at Wired, is now an amazing feature writer and Eric is now the Content Editor (or something like that) at the Harvard Business Review Digital.
Jenny and I dated briefly back in 2001 before she made a much better decision. She’s now happily married and saving the (digital) world at the Ford Foundation.
And Tim (with the hat) from Made By Many is corrupting the MINjas, who flew down to South by Southwest Interactive this year.
Here the MINjas dine with Fiona, her sister and Stephanie, friends I’d made the previous year at South by Southwest. We’d all meet and hang out several more times before the conference came to a close. This was the night before opening night.
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The summer, though, has been magical.
I spent two weeks with John and Aimee in Berlin. Here we’re biking along the Wall (or where the Wall used to be) in order to watch Germany play in the World Cup.
While I was visiting, an old high school pal Kim (who lives in Germany now) came to visit with her two friends in tow. We had a blast walking around the city, drinking coffee and catching up on everything. E-Ver-Ree-Thing.
Then I jetted to England (where I am now) to see loads of old – and new – friends.
First I hit Sheffield where I spent a glorious weekend with my friend Katz, the awesome brains behind the Just B conference. We did no work, however. She took me to dinners and little parties and – most impressively – a 5-hour hike.
This, though, is the little party with her girl friends.
Next, my friend Irene – whom I’ve never met in person, but with whom I’ve kept up with for the past decade – helped fulfill a dream by taking me to see The Comedy of Errors at Shakespeare’s Globe Theater.
Then it was off to the Made By Many offices, where Tim (who corrupted my students at South by Southwest Interactive) took me to lunch and helped me track down some electronics for The Soho Theater. He’s just an amazingly nice guy with a big, creative brain.
Now I’m sitting in the EasyHotel in Victoria, having just returned from a night with Fiona (another South by Southwest friend). My mind though is still stuck in Brighton, where I saw my friend Aleks. We had a glorious weekend, the first time we’d spent substantial time together since 2006, and it was as if no time had passed.
She is the consummate little sister and I hated leaving her. Even though everywhere we went, it looked like this:
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Of course this isn’t a complete picture of my friends. Or The Year of Friends.
It will never be complete. Never truly finished in the way that I’d like. I’m limited by time and resources. But never by my desire to see these people. To spend time with them. To soak in their amazing-ness.
This is just the first of what will be many steps in making sure the measure of my life – at the end – is taken with them as my yardstick. Because they have all, without hyperbole, helped make the very best parts of me.
