Smells

Unrelated notes on the death of an addict

In the past few days, I’ve noticed an abundance of melancholy postings about Philip Seymour Hoffman’s death. After a long period of recovery, Hoffman apparently overdosed on heroin although I suspect we won’t know exactly what happened in those last moments despite the speculation that will invariably happen. As a recovering alcoholic, I see these…

And Then I Became The Twelfth Step

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. I have more friends than I can count dealing with addiction. I know this because I’m open about my addiction and recovery, which gives people license…

The Problem With How You Talk About Fitness

My wife and I have been going to CrossFit Broad Ripple for 15 months. In that time it’s fair to say that our bodies have changed dramatically. This transition from 162-pound skinny runner to 190-pound athlete has been a bit easier for me than it has been for my ballet dancing wife. Still she loves…

“At Least It Was Here,” by The 88s

Give me some rope Tie me to dream Give me the hope To run out of steam Somebody said It could be here We could be roped up, tied up Dead in a year Oh I love you more than words can say I can’t count the reasons I should stay One by one they…

The Thing About Lance Armstrong

By every standard applied to Armstrong’s decision to come clean, my decision to get sober was a disingenuous act designed to make sure I could continue to make money and regain some standing that I’d lost after years of lying to people. *** I don’t know Lance Armstrong personally, and I have no desire to…

My Life With Steve Jobs

When I found out that Steve Jobs passed, my life with technology flashed before my eyes. I’d been preparing for this since Jobs stepped down as Apple’s CEO a few weeks because. Still… I tried to explain to my students today why Jobs was so important. And I did that the only way I know…

Junkie

Unless you are one, you’ll never understand one. I’m convinced of that. Because it’s irrational. It’s not anything that can be understood logically. When the panic sets in, when the manic descends upon you, when the engine revs, and the paranoia strikes, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to have that drink. Not anything. If…

Noble in Thought, Weak in Action

I absolutely cannot wait to buy Season 4. I’m at times frightened and comforted by the realitis of this show (although I’m always quick to point out that everyone is much better looking on this show than it was in real life). Your father is a child in a man’s body, he cares for nothing…

Today Nothing Mattered

I turned on the television tonight after a long day of running, reading, thinking, and relaxing. I felt good, better than I expected on this long weekend. For addicts, long weekends are hard. I fight the urge to leave my shades down, to hide from the world. I’d girded myself for the destructive, self-loathing wave…